Has anyone else noticed that doctors and nurses seem unable to read your chart before they start asking you stupid questions? I went this morning to the dermatologist for my twice-a-year check for scary spots (for those new to the blog, I had melanoma a couple of years back, caught it early, so all is fine now). Upon arriving, they gave me a medical questionnaire, similar to those you might find in any doctor’s office. They like to update it every year, they said. Ok, fine. So, I go about filling out the questionnaire, carefully noting under “current medications” my prenatal vitamins and for “are you under a doctor’s care” noting yes- for pregnancy. I will admit that it still feels weird to write those things down. Really weird.
Anyway- after a shorter wait than I expected, the nurse calls me back to the little room. She begins by asking my age and then proceeds to ask if I am taking any medications. While thinking read the damn form I just filled out I answer her that I am taking prenatal vitamins. She looks at me quizzically and asks if I am pregnant. “Yes,” I respond. She then asks me how many months along I am. “Seven,” I reply. Immediately her backpedal response kicks in and she tells me how good I look. “Hmmmrrrff,” I respond.
I mean, really, what the hell do you say to someone who thinks you’re just really fat? The only credit I can give her is that I was not wearing a maternity shirt today, and she was looking at me head-on. I have gained everything up front, so it is really only my stomach profile that changed (don’t be jealous- I had a big fat ass before getting pregnant- it just didn’t get any bigger). Even people that I work with that know full well that I’m pregnant will forget if I wear “normal” clothing.
Really, the thing that irritated me the most was that I wasted my time filling out that damn form. If no one is going to read it anyway, what’s the point?
P.S.- Between my home checks and a good doctor (I like the doctor, not the nurse) we found four spots that need further examination. She had me clear with my OB that I can have local anesthesia (which I can) and I’ll go back in two weeks to have four spots removed for biopsy. Say a little prayer that they all come back benign. Will keep you posted.
And please check yourself for suspicious moles, ok? And wear sunscreen! (ok, that's my PSA for the day)