Thursday, March 31, 2005

The skin you're in

Has anyone else noticed that doctors and nurses seem unable to read your chart before they start asking you stupid questions? I went this morning to the dermatologist for my twice-a-year check for scary spots (for those new to the blog, I had melanoma a couple of years back, caught it early, so all is fine now). Upon arriving, they gave me a medical questionnaire, similar to those you might find in any doctor’s office. They like to update it every year, they said. Ok, fine. So, I go about filling out the questionnaire, carefully noting under “current medications” my prenatal vitamins and for “are you under a doctor’s care” noting yes- for pregnancy. I will admit that it still feels weird to write those things down. Really weird.

Anyway- after a shorter wait than I expected, the nurse calls me back to the little room. She begins by asking my age and then proceeds to ask if I am taking any medications. While thinking read the damn form I just filled out I answer her that I am taking prenatal vitamins. She looks at me quizzically and asks if I am pregnant. “Yes,” I respond. She then asks me how many months along I am. “Seven,” I reply. Immediately her backpedal response kicks in and she tells me how good I look. “Hmmmrrrff,” I respond.

I mean, really, what the hell do you say to someone who thinks you’re just really fat? The only credit I can give her is that I was not wearing a maternity shirt today, and she was looking at me head-on. I have gained everything up front, so it is really only my stomach profile that changed (don’t be jealous- I had a big fat ass before getting pregnant- it just didn’t get any bigger). Even people that I work with that know full well that I’m pregnant will forget if I wear “normal” clothing.

Really, the thing that irritated me the most was that I wasted my time filling out that damn form. If no one is going to read it anyway, what’s the point?

P.S.- Between my home checks and a good doctor (I like the doctor, not the nurse) we found four spots that need further examination. She had me clear with my OB that I can have local anesthesia (which I can) and I’ll go back in two weeks to have four spots removed for biopsy. Say a little prayer that they all come back benign. Will keep you posted.

And please check yourself for suspicious moles, ok? And wear sunscreen! (ok, that's my PSA for the day)

Friday, March 25, 2005

Whoring it up

Gee- I guess now that I have whored myself by giving out my blog address over at Karen’s and Cecily’s sites, I should probably get something posted for those who might stumble over here.

For those who are finding me through their blogs- welcome! Pardon the mess- I think if you move that pizza box out of the way there will be plenty of space for all. Yep, just throw it over in the corner- yeah, right there. Great!

I guess I should have planned for guests- I have some pretzels and chips. No, cancel the chips- I ate those. Um, carrot sticks? And, um, wasabi peas? Tell you what- I’ll run out and get some decent snacks and maybe even find a good topic while I’m at it. Then we can have a good ol’ gab session (if the Blogger comments cooperate).

Stay tuned!

Friday, March 18, 2005

How dare he?

I just returned from reading Cecily's blog, and found a link to this article from one of the gals commenting. You need to read it- go on, I'll wait.

Ok- so let me just say that I am not going to touch the gay marriage issue. If you need to know- I support gay marriage. However- I also know that there are those who will disagree with me. That's fine. Disagreement in a civil way leads to great discussion.

But that's not the hot topic right now. Right now the issue at hand is the ignorance displayed by this man in the face of adopted children. I ask very loudly- how dare he?

I was moved- no, compelled, to write to him and let him know how unacceptable his words really are. So as not to beat a horse twice- here is the letter I wrote. If you feel as strongly as I do, please feel free to use portions of my letter in your own response to him. I do ask, though, that you keep it "clean." I'm no prude, but I have found that strong words with the absence of vulgarity go much farther toward achieving a goal.



You are welcome to have your opinion on the gay marriage issue. Even though I support the idea of gay marriage, I recognize that it is a highly controversial topic--and it has nothing to do with why I am writing to you today.

Your recent article "The Basic Idea of Marriage is to Raise Kids" was brought to my attention by a friend who was highly alarmed by one of the undertones of this article. And so I ask you--how DARE you say that adopted children are products of the "abandoned kids store?" This is offensive in so many ways that I have trouble knowing where to begin.

First, as an adopted individual, I am personally offended that you approach adoption so lightly and with such ignorance that you say that these children have been abandoned. Abandoned implies that they were left on the roadside, doorstep, or in a dumpster. Unfortunately, these things happen, but do you really think that is the norm? These women who have found themselves pregnant and unable to manage parenthood either financially, mentally, or emotionally, have made a gut-wrenching decision to place their child in the hands of someone who CAN give them what they need. It was not taken lightly- it is not to be trivialized.

And if you refer specifically to children in the foster care system--these children need our compassion, not a verbal slap in the face. They have been through more pain in their lives than most adults. Why is it so terrible if an individual, straight or gay, wants to take that child into their home? Why must an insult be aimed at the child?

And I must know your views on those heterosexual, married couples who, for one reason or another, choose to adopt their children. Are they to be told that they are not really "married" because the child was not born of them? And of those who use artificial means for a biological child- insemination, IVF, and even sperm and egg donation. These individuals are "married" in the legal sense- must they now renounce their status because they have accepted assistance in their reproduction? What do you say to this, John?

And of those couples who choose a childfree life--should they, too, be banned from marriage? Is the government now planning to require that couples sign a contract promising to raise children in order to marry? Last time I checked, we do not live in the Vatican. Marriage is not all about raising children, it is about sharing a life with another individual. If part of that experience involves raising children- wonderful. If it does not, there should be no shame or remorse involved. And it most certainly should not involve the government. And again, I am not even touching the gay marriage issue because so much else in your candor must be addressed first.

The repetition of family values in government doctrines implies that we should always do what is best for the children. How can your comments possibly fill that need?

Thursday, March 17, 2005

And so it begins…

(Warning- baby related topic)

Last night when we got home from work we found, to our delight, our first non-grandparent, shower-related gift! I have to specify because, as you might assume, we have already received stuff from my parents. The day we told them that we got a positive beta they gave us a little stuffed turtle that had obviously been waiting for just such an occasion. Too cute. Then we did get a couple of baby-related things this past Christmas, but those were decidedly not shower-related.

Anyway, I know you are in suspense, so I will tell you that it was a high chair. Not so exciting in the grand scheme of things, but a high chair definitely says that there is a baby on the way. This is the chair we chose (except that ours has navy and brown fabric). Before you start making assumptions that we are yuppie freaks who live for designer labels, I just wanted to say that it was actually my uber-hippie husband that chose this chair. He wanted a wooden one, and as you may or may not know, the pickings are slim if you are avoiding the plastic monstrosities. Also—since I’m already on this tangent—we noted that most of the chairs out there have a ruffle on the chair pad. First of all, that’s a little too girly for my taste, especially if we have a boy. Second, who the hell wants to clean food particles out of a ruffle? I want to know who the dumbass is that designed that feature on a baby article that will constantly be around soft, mushy, projectile food.

So, overall it made for a nice welcome home.

Then, A. was able to get some more of the n-room painted. Luckily, I intervened fairly early in the evening because he was putting the yellow on the wrong half of the wall. Because I couldn’t decide, we’re painting the walls yellow on the top, blue on the bottom, and adding a white chair rail to separate. He had already painted a bit on the lower half, but it can easily be covered with a bit more primer. And I stopped him early enough that he was able to finish one entire coat on the top. It will need a second one because yellow always does…sorry A.! If we keep up this pace, the room will be entirely painted by the end of the weekend.

Ok, kid, we’re getting ready!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Unexplained or male factor?

For any of those who are dealing with the dreaded diagnosis of "unexplained" infertility, this article on sperm proteins might give you some additional things to ponder. Not that it provides a therapy, mind you. I'm wondering if that was our problem because IVF with ICSI seemed to do the trick very nicely, and my body seems happy with the whole idea of pregnancy. Or perhaps I just have really mean eggs that bitch-slap any sperm that get too close to them but were lulled into compliance once the projesterone started flowing. I mean, hell, "unexplained" really opens the door for creativity, right?

As a funny aside, the last article in this issue of ScienceNOW is about the birth of stars (the ones in the sky, not the Hollywood crowd) and is called "A Hot Stellar Womb." The editor must have had fun this month.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Pregnancy Update

I had a good appointment this morning. Here's the summary:

heart rate = 138
bp = 120/70
glucose tolerance test = passed!

My weight was higher than I had hoped, but surprisingly I did not get any harsh words from the doc. In fact, he said that I was doing fine and to keep up the good work. As of now, I'm only up 16 pounds for the whole pregnancy, so it's well within reason. They have been watching it closely, though, because I started off with *ahem* a few extra pounds. I asked my husband to be blunt about whether I had added any size to my butt, hips, legs, etc. He said that really, the only place I'm bigger is in the stomach. That was my perception, too, but when it comes to weight, I am VERY good at denial. Mind you, I would happily take any weight needed for the baby to be healthy, but I was hoping that I would find most of it front and center.

Next visit in 4 weeks and then I'm on to the 2-week visits.