From here to eternity

Or to the toy on the other side of the room. Whichever one my son has his eye on at the time. As of yesterday evening, he has achieved mobility. Crawling. And he darn near pulled up. Oh yes, and he stood on his own for a few seconds. All in the same day! Yikes! Our house currently has no gates, and I only recently packed away a lot of the breakables. Not all, I’m sure, but a lot.

The crawling is really quite amusing because he uses such a Kafkaesque form. His version of crawling involves using both hands, one knee, and a foot. If the Hunchback of Notre Dame crawled, I imagine that’s what he would have looked like. And as of last night (and things change daily in the dish house) he has not realized that his mobility can propel him forward to reach, say, the next room. Or the dog (to her delight). Or the unrestricted staircase. He sees it as a way to get the toys that are out of reach. I figure by tonight he will have figured out how to use his powers to take over the world and then I’m screwed.

Pathetic musings (updated)

Why is it that if something a teensy bit odd happens with one of my cycles my first thought is “maybe I’m pregnant?” Haven't I learned that it is just not going to happen without extensive intervention? I have been pregnant once...just once...and have one child. Three years of trying and drugs galore to get that one. Most of the tests indicate that it is a male factor (alhtough we were never anything but "unexplained" on the records), so my body “learning” what it is to be pregnant is not going to solve anything.

So, when I spot a tiny bit yesterday, which is a full week or so before the red ravage is due, why the hell do I torture myself by thinking that it might be implantation bleeding? Why do I play these mind games? WTF??? The RR has been early (even two weeks early) on a few occasions. Honestly, that is a more likely scenario.

I need some chocolate.

Updated to add:
In case you're keeping score at home, it was, in fact, the coming of RR.

The Big One

I used to love watching Sanford and Son as a kid. Seeing Redd Foxx stumble around, clutching his chest and saying “It’s the big one. I’m coming Elizabeth!”

That fact has nothing at all to do with this post. It just popped into my head when I wrote down the title. No, the “Big One” in this case is, as you have probably already guessed, the first birthday. In a mere 12 days my little boy turns one. My head cannot seem to wrap around that fact.

And the first birthday seems to be surrounded with a lot of magical occurrences:

• The car seat can be turned to face forward (yes, he is more than 20 pounds)

• He can eat egg whites

• He can eat peanut butter

• He can eat citrus fruit

• He can drink milk (ok, lots of food stuff- you get the idea)

• He should start to walk any day

• He can sleep on a cot at daycare

I wonder- can I turn the car seat around the day before he turns one? Or will it cause the infant police to take away my mothering license? What about the milk? We did try to give him a bit of ice cream a month ago and it came right back up. Does he have the proper enzymes as of May 17th? What if they are late and only show up on the 18th?

Here’s a little secret...he already loves mandarin oranges {gasp}, and I’ve given him scrambled eggs {double gasp}.

But, anyway, after a ceremonial plea to the Gawds, we will be taking him to get ice cream on his birthday to the same place where I have gone my entire life and where my mom has gone for almost her entire life. Let’s hope that the magic enzymes show up on time!