Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Heart of the Matter

I've got a lot on my mind these days, but without question the biggest thing is Mr. Moo's upcoming surgery. Sorry to just drop it on you like that, but I really couldn't come up with a clever way to introduce the topic because, well, I'm a bit of a stressed out mamma at the moment.

This coming Friday, my little pumpkin goes under the knife to correct a ventral septal defect (VSD) that he has had since birth. As far as heart defects go, it's a relatively minor one. The hole is quite small, and Mr. Moo is a healthy little kid. The problem that we've run into is that the turbulence caused by the hole (so much turbulence, in fact, that one need not even touch the stethoscope to his chest to hear the murmur) is causing the heart to enlarge. Left alone, it will lead to numerous vascular, heart, and lung issues later in life, and by then it will be too late to repair anything.

So, enter scalpel, rib spreaders, and the whole open-heart parade.


Even last week, I was dealing pretty well with everything, but now that we're in the last few days before the procedure, I'm a bit of a raw nerve. Add to that the reality of a cousin in hospice (in his 60's, but still...) and a friend whose husband died unexpectedly last week, and I've become a bit of a hawt mess. I hear a song...I tear up. I read Facebook...I tear up. I refill my coffee cup...I tear up. I am not at all the weepy type, so add to the mix my brain trying to deal with All. Of. These. Emotions. So. Much. To. Process. (Read that last part in the voice of William Shatner for full effect.)

One saving factor is that my employer is being completely understanding and has only chided me for trying to figure out how soon I can be back to normal workload. "Don't you even think about work until your little guy is better," I have been told. How refreshing and welcome. I think if I were at ye olde place I would have gone postal by this point.

So, asking for prayers, good thoughts, and any other positives to get us all through this rough patch. Thanks all!


Jenn said...

Prayers and big hugs for all of you!

Ollie said...

Lots of thoughts, prayers, vibes, chicken bones, anything you want you got it.

Thinking about you today.